Following your heart and surviving the consequences in your early 40s

It’s not easy; nobody said it would be, but you face the hard truth of how difficult it can be.

It’s not a smooth ride, and it has its consequences. Of course, it has, and it will lead to further complications.

In my early 40s, I decided to follow my heart and enrolled in my second master’s degree at an internationally renowned university. This decision was made purely by my heart, as my brain couldn’t comprehend all the complexities and calculations involved in such a dramatic event.

The year was 2022, and we were emerging from a worldwide catastrophic and chaotic event. Somehow, I could see a similar chaotic narrative playing out in my professional life. Physically, I was busy in my professional life in a chosen career. Still, mentally, I could feel the symptoms of being stuck in an unpleasant environment for far too long. I won’t say I was burnt out as I just returned to work after a prolonged sabbatical, and fortunately, I could work remotely during the lockdown era. Still, that feeling was akin to stagnancy, as if I failed to foresee my professional future.

So, I entered the prestigious University of Reading in 2022 to pursue a second master’s degree focused on digital technologies and artificial intelligence. That course offered a peek inside the fascinating buzzwords of today’s information technologies and prepared me to take on the multi-faceted challenges of the ever-evolving technological landscape. Of course, I am grateful for this opportunity to come my way and for all my acquaintances who helped me to achieve my dream of obtaining a much-coveted degree from a foreign university.

Having said that, it was not all a path of roses. All the online webinars, alums chatting and educational YouTubers could not prepare me for the real-world cultural, academic and economic shock. It jolted me when I landed in the new country, an altogether foreign city without any personal connection to my name. Right from the first step of getting off the bus at Reading to moving into the student accommodation to become a part of the student community formally, all the experiences were astonishingly unique, jolting me into new realities of my new life.

Then came the studies of different subjects and diverse topics; few were in sync with my professional experiences, whereas the remaining introduced me to new concepts in innovative technologies, predominantly focused on information management and allied themes. I had to unlearn many things while learning and imbibing globally accepted terms like critical thinking, equality in thoughts, acceptance of new ideas, and keeping an open mind towards diversified knowledge development.

Not far behind were the challenges faced in finding student jobs revolving around the tightly packed and busy study schedule. I won’t claim that finding and working in these student jobs was always a pleasant experience, but it taught me an essential lesson about settling in an unfamiliar work environment. I can still feel the rawness, the realness around this whole experience, like tackling unfamiliar work schedules, understanding the retail and commercial environment, and budgeting in meagre income while never losing focus on the ultimate goal.

Indeed, I achieved that goal by finishing my degree in 2023 on a high note. That moment became the highlight of this unexpected struggle of over a year, as Raga Bhairavi notes at the end of a long, arduous night.

Yes, I paid a hefty financial, physical and mental price to bring my long-held dream to reality. Was it worth it? Well, it’s difficult to say since so many crisscrossed thoughts already cloud my mind; some of these thoughts assure me that it was all worthwhile, but some question the sanctity behind such a life-altering decision.

Maybe it’s a bit early to weigh the benefits vs. losses, as I have just found the mental peace to consider this nuancedly. However, if someone asks me whether I am happy with such a radical decision to follow my heart unthinkingly, I would answer affirmatively.

Of course, you have to pay a price, especially if you follow your heart regardless of age, but it’s more than worth living with the regret of not fulfilling your dreams.

If you have a predestined time on this planet, it’s better to go ahead and seize that day.